Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - April 30th

I just spend my money on the essentials. Just basically food and shelter. - David Duchovny

Be ruthless! Say no to everything that is either not essential or doesn’t add something of value to your life. - Dee Waldeck

When you find out you can live without it, go along not thinking about it. – Baloo

What is really essential in life? 

Not knowing how long I would be out of my fire-damaged apartment and knowing that all of my clothes needed to be dry cleaned, I went through my closet and selected some basic clothing items.  The dry cleaners said they would do a rush job on a few clothing items, but it would still take about 5 days to get those items back.  Looking in my closet, I picked a few versatile items that I would be able to wear and had a few business attire items rushed through the dry cleaners.  My basic attire included 3 scarves, 2 pairs of jeans and 2 shirts and 2 tank tops.  Over the 33 days I was in the hotel, I purchased 2 shirts.

In many parts of my life, I love consistency and routine, but I like variety in my clothing.  However, I was very limited in my options during this time.  I learned to mix and match attire especially since I hung out with friends on most evenings.  Through this, I learned to life on the bare essentials of life.  This whole experience taught me to think about what truly is important in life.

CHALLENGE:  As we are in the middle of spring, it is a great time to declutter.

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - April 23rd

Without disruptions in life, where would we be? - Sarah Gadon

You embrace disruption. I think it's a good thing. - Denise Morrison

Disruption is, at its core, a really powerful idea. - Clayton M. Christensen

Since the fire marshals told me it was not safe to live in my apartment, my insurance company outsourced finding me a place to stay.  The company was very helpful by providing three or four different hotel options based on certain qualifications I asked for.  It was about 6:15pm on a Tuesday night when I first talked with them and by 9:30pm that night I had paid my deductible and knew where I would lay my head the next night. 

The following day (Wednesday) I checked into the hotel, very thankful for a clean place to sleep with no idea how long I would be living in a hotel room.  I was blessed with an amazing view of the Pentagon that I fell asleep to each night.  On Friday, I was dealing with various issues during the day, went grocery shopping and then returned to the hotel late in the afternoon.  After taking up one load of stuff to my room, I pushed the elevator pushbutton on the 16^th floor and waited.  When the elevator doors opened, I saw an older tall gentleman with brunette hair standing in the elevator with 6 bottles of wine in the bag he was holding.  Being friendly, I said, “Looks like you are going to have fun tonight!”  The gentleman laughed at my comment and we started talking.  By the time we reached the underground parking, I discovered he lived at the hotel and he had invited me to the table he hosted during the hotel happy hour Monday through Wednesday nights.  At first, I was not sure about going; however, I did my research online and discovered that my new “friend” was a former Army JAG attorney (Judge Advocate General) and I did not see any reason why I could not go downstairs for a little while.  That one decision made my stay at the hotel so much fun.

When I arrived downstairs on Monday, I reintroduced myself to the former JAG attorney and he introduced me to some of his friends that were at his table that night.  Throughout the evening, I met a number of military personnel that were TDY (temporary duty) at the Pentagon and discovered that this happened on a regular basis.  Throughout my stay, I met a number of other individuals at the table.  We had a wonderful time laughing, learning about each other and discussing politics.  The group was very diverse and we did not always agree, but this new group of friends I met at the hotel made my “life disruption” so much better. 

One night when I was talking with my sister, she told me that maybe this “life disruption” would turn out for my good and she was right.  Even now that I have returned to my apartment, I have gone back to visit the table at the hotel a couple times and plan on going back for other events.  I made some great friends during my 33-day hotel stay that will be there for me when I need them.  

CHALLENGE:   Embrace every disruption and enjoy it! 

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - April 16th

Turn your wounds into wisdom. ― Oprah Winfrey

Be thankful for everything that happens in your life; it’s all an experience. ― Roy T. Bennett

The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience. ― Eleanor Roosevelt

Part 2

As the fire marshals were getting ready to leave, the apartment complex manager told me that the rental apartment was available for me to use for the next two nights.  After a long and exhausting day, I gathered a few belongings as I tried to determine my next steps.  Leaving my apartment, I walked towards a building that a friend and his wife live in and where I thought the rental apartment was.  Soon I discovered that I had gone to the wrong building and one of the front office staff found me wandering in the parking garage and ended up driving me to the correct building.  Making my way to the apartment, I dropped my belongings at the door and collapsed on the bed.

After a sleepless night, I awoke to go to the gym and start working on organizing my life.  Since I had never dealt with anything like this, I was not sure what to do.  I contacted friends and family to obtain advice about how to deal with fire issues, but few had ever dealt with a fire and were not able to assist.  Calling the insurance company three times, I finally talked to my insurance adjustor for 45 minutes about what was included in my renter’s insurance policy.  Within a couple of hours of talking with my insurance adjustor, I was contacted by a company that assisted with finding a hotel for me to stay in since the fire marshals said I could not remain in my apartment.  Next, I was contacted by a company to help clean my furniture of soot and water damage.  Lastly, I was contacted by a company that would dry clean all of my clothes. According to the contractors, there was minimal smoke damage to my apartment; however, my clothes were engulfed with the smell of smoke.

Over the time I was out of my apartment, I called family and the insurance company for advice.  Sometimes they were able to provide guidance and sometimes they were not able to help. 

The first lesson I learned was that we can prepare the best we can and seek advice.  After that, it comes down to weighing the facts and then making the best decision possible. 

In the coming weeks, I will talk about other experiences and what I learned from them.

CHALLENGE:   Prepare the best you can and deal with the experiences as they come!

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - April 9th

It's better to die laughing than to live each moment in fear. ― Michael Crichton

I think the only way to get through this life is laughing hard and constantly, mostly at myself. ― Shannon Hale

Sitting on my couch doing work on February 25, 2019, I had absolutely no idea how my life was about to be disrupted forever!  As I was working, I smelled something strange.  At first, I did not think anything about it because I was cooking chicken in the crock pot with a new sauce.  However, I continued to smell the “strange” smell that was almost like smoke and decided I better check it out.  As I opened the door to walk outside onto my balcony, I saw smoke coming out of the strike plate (check diagram to understand terminology: https://i.pinimg.com/736x/f9/22/98/f92298b8dcada0f7534b28cb40244800.jpg) in the door and I also saw smoke coming out of a vent in the electrical closet that I do not have access to on my balcony. 

Immediately, I called my apartment complex office and they started looking into the issue.  When I saw the apartment complex manager and maintenance manager walking around outside my apartment, I walked onto my balcony and I talked with them for a few minutes.  Finally, they told me they could not determine where the smoke was coming from and they decided to pull the fire alarm for my apartment building and I was told to evacuate.  Listening to my mother, I grabbed my cell phone, computer, chargers and purse and left my apartment.  I went downstairs and sat in the apartment complex office and one of my friends came to hang out with me when he smelled something strange and heard the fire alarm.  At one point, we walked outside into the parking lot and saw a fireman hanging out of the window in my bedroom talking to a fireman hanging out of the window on the floor above me.  I knew then there was a MAJOR PROBLEM!

About 45 minutes later after walking back into the apartment complex office, the fire alarm stopped and I took the elevator to the fourth floor to return to my apartment.  As I walked down the hallway, the apartment complex manager walked out of my apartment and said, “It looks worse than it really is.”  Walking into my apartment, I discovered I had no electricity and at that moment no water.  Part of my bedroom wall had been torn down by the firefighter’s axes trying to get into the locked electrical closet.  Water had been sprayed throughout my bedroom and the furniture I had inherited when my grandparents passed away was covered in water. 

At that moment, I just stood in my apartment shaking my head wondering “WHY”?  I put my palm on my forehead and just looked around having no idea what my next steps were.  The fire marshals were very nice to me and at one point we were laughing at the sign that was on the mirror in my bedroom that said “I WANT CRAZY!”  They highly recommended I take it down!

Around 9:30pm that night (about 7 hours after I first smelled smoke), the fire marshals finally determined they knew the fire had started between the 4^th and 5^th floor where the electrical closets were, but could not determine how or why!

Next week, I will blog the second part of the story.  In coming weeks, I will write about the many lessons I have learned in the last month and a half. 

CHALLENGE:   LAUGH!

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - April 2nd

You defeat wrong thoughts with words, not with other thoughts. – Terri Savelle Foy

The words you speak become the house you live in. – Hafiz

Don't use your words to describe your situation, use your words to change your situation! – Joel Osteen

SHOULD…

According to dictionary.com, should means:

must; ought (used to indicate duty, propriety, or expediency.

This word needs to be removed from our thoughts and our language.  Erin Falconer discusses in her book “How to Get Sh*t Done” that we use the word “should” all day long in our inner dialogue. 

• I “should” go to the gym instead of watching television. 
• I “should” visit family more often.
• I “should” read 20 pages in the book.  

“Should” is an indicator that we either do not want to do what we are thinking/saying or we do not plan on doing what we are thinking/saying.  This inner divide in our minds of what is expected to be done and what we want to do creates feelings of guilt, shame and indecision.  Additionally, the word “should” indicates that what is being planned is only a possibility and not what will actually happen, which provides an excuse for why something may not happen. 

Instead, it is better to use the word “will” because it is a definite word. 

• I “will” go to the gym.
• I “will” visit my family this weekend. 
• I “will” read 20 pages in the book.

By changing the words we speak, we are setting ourselves up to accomplish our dreams and goals. 

CHALLENGE:  Count how many times in a day you say to yourself out loud or internally “I should”.  What do you plan to do to change from “should” to “will” to help you accomplish your dreams and goals? 

Resources

Falconer, E. (2018). How to Get Sh*t Done. New York, NY: North Star Way.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/lifestyle-buzz/the-psychology-behind-why-were-so-bad-at-keeping-new-years-resolutions/ar-BBRDsfN?ocid=spartanntp

http://jnsci.org/files/html/2017/e384.htm

https://www.terri.com/downloads/2017_routine_spring.pdf

Positive Affirmations to Change Your Attitude - https://www.terri.com/positive-affirmations-to-change-your-attitude/

https://metro.co.uk/2017/12/31/serious-keeping-new-year-resolutions-ban-word-7193093/

https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=17792517

Miracles In Your Mouth - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RR57tZSNwgo

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - March 26th

Your ears need to hear what your mouth is professing. – Terri Savelle Foy

Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love. - Brené Brown

The more you talk about the negative things in your life, the more you call them in. Speak victory, not defeat. – Joel Osteen

Words are so important and the words that we speak to ourselves are the most impactful.  Our brains are known for focusing on “what”” can go wrong with our fight or flight mindset.  When we speak positive words to ourselves, we build confidence and self-worth. 

Terri Savelle Foy said:

Your voice is the most influential voice in your life!

Science has shown us that we can train our brains new tricks.  Scientists studied the Sea Gypsies, also known as Mokens, off the coast of Myanmar and Thailand.  The Mokens have amazing underwater vision, which is twice as good as the Europeans.  Their outstanding eyesight helps them gather shellfish at greater depths without scuba gear.  Scientists say they are able to do this because they constrict their pupils by 22 percent.  People have questioned if the Mokens were gifted with this special talent.  Scientists do not believe they are different than any other humans.  They believe that the Mokens have incorporated the concept that the brain orders the body to adjust to complete whatever task it needs to. 

In the same way, our brains can be reconfigured to think positively about ourselves based on the words we speak to ourselves.

CHALLENGE: Create a list of positive affirmations to speak over yourself and start daily saying them out loud!

Resources

http://jnsci.org/files/html/2017/e384.htm

https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/lifestyle-buzz/the-psychology-behind-why-were-so-bad-at-keeping-new-years-resolutions/ar-BBRDsfN?ocid=spartanntp

https://www.terri.com/downloads/2017_routine_spring.pdf

https://everydaypowerblog.com/truths-positive-affirmations/

https://bigthink.com/think-tank/brain-exercise

Positive Affirmations to Change Your Attitude - https://www.terri.com/positive-affirmations-to-change-your-attitude/

https://metro.co.uk/2017/12/31/serious-keeping-new-year-resolutions-ban-word-7193093/

https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=17792517

Miracles In Your Mouth - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RR57tZSNwgo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIKm3Pq9U8M

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - March 19th

Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without. – Buddha

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything.  What we think we become. – Buddha

Meditation can be practiced all the time and even in a market place. Meditation is all about being conscious and aware of our actions, thoughts and feelings. – Unknown

Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create. ― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

As we continue to strive towards our dreams, we are daily visualizing accomplishing our dreams, daily reviewing our goals and daily taking actions that help us accomplish our goals.  All of these actions are very good because it shows we are focused on our purpose and our dreams.  However, these actions can be an inhibitor to progress because accomplishing our dreams is always on our minds and we are talking to friends about our dreams, but they may not be supportive and encouraging of OUR dreams.  Also, we may get depressed and worried when we see SOME progress on our dreams, but we have not seen the full manifestation of our dreams.  What do we do when we get discouraged?

Meditate on the positive.  Rick Warren said in his daily devotional on March 3, 2019, “If you know how to worry, you know how to meditate.  Meditation is simply focusing on one thought over and over.”  During the trying times of waiting to see our dreams come true, it is important to continually meditate on the positive things of life. 

To stay positive, here are a few examples that will help turn a negative attitude into a positive one: 

1.         Write in a gratitude journal 2 or 3 amazing things to be thankful for in a day.  By thinking about gratitude, we are mediating on the positive in life. 
2.      Meditate on a positive poem, song or Bible verse.
3.      Help someone else.  When helping others, our focus turns to the other person and off of ourselves. 

By meditating on the positive, we change our perspective and refocus our lives toward our dreams.

CHALLENGE: When trying times arise, what will you meditate on?

Resources

https://pastorrick.com/fill-your-mind-with-gods-word-not-worry/

http://jnsci.org/files/html/2017/e384.htm 

Change Your Thoughts - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-aBnBtsYKY

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - March 12th

Follow your heart, listen to your inner voice, stop caring about what others think. ― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

You will never follow your own inner voice until you clear up the doubts in your mind. ― Roy T. Bennett

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” ―Thomas Jefferson

As we continue on our journey to accomplish our dreams and goals, it is always great to be reminded how important the mind is on this journey.  To prove this statement, science is a great resource.        

Dr. Ellen Langer, a Harvard psychologist, decided to research the perception on how much we think we exercise compared to how our bodies actually look.  Langer talked with hotel maids to see how much they feel they worked out.  As we all know, they are very active in their jobs, but 67% of the maids did not believe they worked out and about 33% did not believe they got any exercise at all. 

The researchers measured the maids body measurements that would indicate overall health including body-fat, waist-to-hip ratio, blood pressure, weight and body mass index.  These numbers indicated the maids’ perception of not exercising even though their job had them regularly exercising. 

Langer divided up the 84 maids into two groups.  Half of the group was told how many calories each of their daily activities burned and also told them that the surgeon general considered their lifestyles to be “active” based on their jobs.  When the researchers returned one month later, the educated group had a decrease in their systolic blood pressure, weight and waist-to-hip ratio.  Additionally, there was a 10 percent drop in the 42 maids blood pressure.  There was concern that the maids had changed their behavior and that is why the decrease may have happened.  However, researchers talked with both the maids and their managers and there was no change in their behavior. 

Langer believes that the change in the maids’ measurements was simply a change in their mindset because they had been educated about how much exercise they did daily.  She believes that our bodies may respond to a mindset over what we are actually doing. 

If you have a strong mind and plant in it a firm resolve, you can change your destiny. ―Paramahansa Yogananda

CHALLENGE: How do you need to change your mindset to help you accomplishing your dreams and goals?

Resources

http://jnsci.org/files/html/2017/e384.htm

Change Your Thoughts - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-aBnBtsYKY

Positive Affirmations to Change Your Attitude - https://www.terri.com/positive-affirmations-to-change-your-attitude/

https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=17792517

https://businessthinking.com/podcasts/ellen-langer-1

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - March 5th

Become your own success story, not someone else's. - Stephen Richards

When dreams are not clear, the results are often as blurred. You won't be able to arrive at your desired destination if you are not certain of where you're going. You have to be able to see clearly and perfectly. -  Jan Mckingley Hilado, Rich Real Radical: 40 Lessons from a Magna Cum Laude and a College Drop Out

Visualization engages the mind and encourages the body. - Lorii Myers, No Excuses, The Fit Mind-Fit Body Strategy Book

We've been given the power to have what we visualize, but we tend to visualize what we already have. - Tommy Newberry, The 4:8 Principle: The Secret to a Joy-Filled Life

To finish the discussion about visualization, here are some tips: 

1. Be comfortable & relax - Visualize in the morning after waking up and right before going to bed because these are times when we are most relaxed and have a positive mindset.  This process should take 10 minutes or less each time. 
   
2. Visualize accomplishing dreams in very specific pictures.  Include location, clothing, facial expressions, body movements, smells, noises, emotions, other people involved, etc.  
3. State each goal and then visualize “as if” it is already completed.  Jack Canfield discusses in his blog post titled “Visualization Techniques to Affirm Your Desired Outcomes: A Step-by-Step Guide”, visualizing goals as already completed causes a conflict in the subconscious between what we are visualizing and the current situation.  Our minds then work to resolve the conflicting “scenes” and create the reality we imagined. 
4. When visualizing, remember to visualize completing the task perfectly.  As stated in last week’s blog post, if the basketball players visualized missing a free throw, the next time they visualized making the free throw.  
5. Repeat daily.  The basketball players consistently visualized making their free throws for 20 consecutive days and increased their free throw percentage!

CHALLENGE: Start visualizing “scenes” of yourself accomplishing your dreams and goals. 

Resources

Visualization Techniques to Affirm Your Desired Outcomes: A Step-by-Step Guide - https://www.jackcanfield.com/blog/visualize-and-affirm-your-desired-outcomes-a-step-by-step-guide/

5 tips for making visualization work - http://drdavidhamilton.com/5-tips-for-making-visualisation-work/

5 Secret Tips for Successful Visualization - https://www.applythelawofattraction.com/successful-visualization/

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - February 26th

If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right. - Henry Ford

Visualization is daydreaming with a purpose. – Bo Bennett

I see myself doing what it is I want to do, and I do not let go of this picture until it manifests. – Suzanne Somers

Imagination is everything.  It is the preview of life's coming attractions. - Albert Einstein

Does visualization really work?  Is there science behind it? 

Australian psychologist Alan Richardson conducted a study to determine if visualization would help basketball players improve their free throw percentage.  He selected random students that had never practiced visualization before and divided the students into three groups.  Group one practiced free throws every day for 20 days, group two practiced free throws on the first and twentieth day of the study and group three practiced free throws on the first and twentieth day of the study AND ALSO spent 20 minutes every day of the study visualizing making free throws.  If they missed their shot, they practiced getting the next shot in the basketball hoop. 

According to Richardson’s results, group one, which practiced their free throws every day, improved their free throw percentage rate by 24 percent.  The second group did not improve at all.  Group three, which visualized their free throws for 20 minutes every day, improved their free throw percentage by 23 percent, which is almost the same as those who practiced every day. 

The Llewellyn Encyclopedia states that visualization assists athletes in their success by increased confidence and motivation.  They also believe that a less obvious benefit of visualization is that it sharpens the muscle memory of athletes, which helps the athlete when they physical engage in the activity.

If visualization provides confidence, motivation and increased muscle memory, how would it assist someone who visualizes paying off debt, walking across the stage to receive a diploma for college graduation or finishing a marathon?

CHALLENGE: Based on last week’s “scenes” to visualize, what thoughts/actions do you need to visualize to accomplish your goals?  

Resources

https://expertenough.com/1898/visualization-works

http://jnsci.org/files/html/2017/e384.htm

Visualize Your Dream Life - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iqu81F4WZq8

http://www.sportpsychologytoday.com/sport-psychology-for-coaches/the-power-of-visualization/

https://www.llewellyn.com/encyclopedia/article/244

https://www.powerofpositivity.com/7-incredible-studies-that-prove-the-power-of-the-mind/