Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - May 30, 2023

 Perfectionism is the enemy of progress.  It produces procrastination.  It paralyzes potential.  Face the truth, friend: perfect conditions are never going to come. - Rick Warren, Created to Dream

This is the first lie that perfectionism tells you about goals: Quit if it isn’t perfect. - Jon Acuff

In about a month, we will be halfway through the year. As the author was thinking about the last five months and all of the work she has been doing, she has often contemplated her goals. At this point, she has not tweaked any of them and does not plan to. Her priority has not been her blog, but she plans to make that a focus again in the coming weeks. Also, the author has been researching some new and fun opportunities for the coming months.

For the author, the quote that really caught her attention and made her review her situation was: 

The harder you try to be perfect, the less likely you’ll accomplish your goals. - Jon Acuff, Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done

As the author said in the last couple of blog posts, her perfectionist tendencies were her own making, and she needs to strive for excellence. When she strives for that, she is more likely to accomplish her goals.

Perfectionism always makes things harder and more complicated. Finishers make things easier and simpler. The next time you work on a goal, I dare you to ask the following questions during the middle of the project: Could things be easier? Could things be simpler? - Jon Acuff, Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done

ACTION: What perfectionist tendencies do you have? Are they affecting your goals? Are they affecting your relationships? What are you going to do to change the situation and strive for excellence instead?    

Resource

·        https://psychcentral.com/blog/imperfect/2019/09/why-you-should-strive-for-excellence-not-perfection

·        This sentence will change perfectionism forever. - https://acuff.me/atg23/

·        ATG 120: Beyond Perfect: The Hidden Enemy of Your Goals (Part 1) - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/atg-120-beyond-perfect-the-hidden-enemy-of-your-goals-part-1/id1547078080?i=1000608141418

·        ATG 121: Beyond Perfect: Soundtracks I Use to Beat Perfectionism (Part 2) - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/atg-121-beyond-perfect-soundtracks-i-use-to-beat-perfectionism/id1547078080?i=1000609236308

·        ATG 124: 8 Signs You’re a Perfectionist (Part 1) - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/atg-124-8-signs-youre-a-perfectionist-part-1/id1547078080?i=1000612126426

·        ATG 125: 8 Signs You’re a Perfectionist (Part 2) - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/atg-125-8-signs-youre-a-perfectionist-part-2/id1547078080?i=1000613019824

·        https://www.explorepsychology.com/perfectionism-definition-examples/

·        https://quotefancy.com/jon-acuff-quotes

·        Making Adjustments - Pt 2 | Joyce Meyer | Enjoying Everyday Life - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0YEq_4CKzk&t=1506s - 12:35 

·        Acuff, J. (2021). Soundtracks: The Surprising Solution to Overthinking. Prince Frederick.

·        https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/56765588-finish-give-yourself-the-gift-of-done

·        https://www.fullingmgmt.com/blog/soundtrack-symbols-make-your-soundtrack-stick

·        https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-check-the-story-youre-telling-yourself/id1138081298?i=1000602915356

·        https://andystanley.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Andy-Stanley-Leadership-Podcast-February-2023-Application-Guide.pdf

·        https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/atg-120-beyond-perfect-the-hidden-enemy-of-your-goals-part-1/id1547078080?i=1000608141418

·        https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/atg-121-beyond-perfect-soundtracks-i-use-to-beat-perfectionism/id1547078080?i=1000609236308

 

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - May 23, 2023

 Excellence does not require perfection. - Henry James

Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence. - Vince Lombardi

Excellence is the gradual result of always striving to do better. - Pat Riley

Last week, the author wrote about the last four and a half months and the challenges she has encountered with her perfectionist tendencies. The author was striving to be perfect and realized that she was the only person that expected perfection and that she was the one defining perfection. While listening to Jon Acuff’s podcast, she realized that she was striving for the wrong thing.

According to Psych Central, perfectionists have extremely ambitious standards that are insurmountable to attain. While striving for these lofty standards, perfectionists often have health, relational and confidence issues. Perfectionists believe that any mistake they make is a failure and the mistake makes them inferior.

Instead of striving for perfection, one should strive for excellence. Striving for excellence allows one to feel content with a job well done and learn from one’s mistakes.

Acuff defined in his podcast titled “8 Signs You’re a Perfectionist (Part 1)” the differences between excellence and perfectionism.

Ø  Excellence launches. Perfectionism lags.

Ø  Excellence energizes. Perfectionism drains.

Ø  Excellence encourages others. Perfectionism discourages others.

Excellence is a process that should occupy all our days. - Theodore Wilhelm Engstrom

ACTION:  Monday, we will honor the men and women that lost their lives while serving in our armed forces. These men and women daily strived for excellence. As we honor these men and women, we should learn from their quest for excellence.   

Resource

·        https://psychcentral.com/blog/imperfect/2019/09/why-you-should-strive-for-excellence-not-perfection

·        This sentence will change perfectionism forever. - https://acuff.me/atg23/

·        ATG 120: Beyond Perfect: The Hidden Enemy of Your Goals (Part 1) - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/atg-120-beyond-perfect-the-hidden-enemy-of-your-goals-part-1/id1547078080?i=1000608141418

·        ATG 121: Beyond Perfect: Soundtracks I Use to Beat Perfectionism (Part 2) - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/atg-121-beyond-perfect-soundtracks-i-use-to-beat-perfectionism/id1547078080?i=1000609236308

·        ATG 124: 8 Signs You’re a Perfectionist (Part 1) - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/atg-124-8-signs-youre-a-perfectionist-part-1/id1547078080?i=1000612126426

·        ATG 125: 8 Signs You’re a Perfectionist (Part 2) - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/atg-125-8-signs-youre-a-perfectionist-part-2/id1547078080?i=1000613019824

·        https://www.explorepsychology.com/perfectionism-definition-examples/

·        https://quotefancy.com/jon-acuff-quotes

·        Making Adjustments - Pt 2 | Joyce Meyer | Enjoying Everyday Life - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0YEq_4CKzk&t=1506s - 12:35 

·        Acuff, J. (2021). Soundtracks: The Surprising Solution to Overthinking. Prince Frederick.

·        https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/56765588-finish-give-yourself-the-gift-of-done

·        https://www.fullingmgmt.com/blog/soundtrack-symbols-make-your-soundtrack-stick

·        https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-check-the-story-youre-telling-yourself/id1138081298?i=1000602915356

·        https://andystanley.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Andy-Stanley-Leadership-Podcast-February-2023-Application-Guide.pdf

·        https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/atg-120-beyond-perfect-the-hidden-enemy-of-your-goals-part-1/id1547078080?i=1000608141418

·        https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/atg-121-beyond-perfect-soundtracks-i-use-to-beat-perfectionism/id1547078080?i=1000609236308

 

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - May 16, 2023

 Perfection is the enemy of progress. - Craig Groeschel

Victory is in your attitude. Not in having perfect circumstances. -  Joyce Meyer

Has the reader ever had so much to do that they did not know where to start?

As the author has mentioned, she is currently covering for a coworker, meaning she has been doing two jobs for the last four and a half months and at the time of this writing there is not a definite end date.  Work has included many ten-hour days and working weekends. While working through this busy time, the author has tried to balance her life including work, personal and goals. Honestly, it has been extremely hard because the author has perfectionist tendencies and is now working to be a recovering perfectionist. During this extremely busy time, the author has learned unbelievably valuable lessons about perfectionism.

First, what is a perfectionist? According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, it is a “disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable.”

The author has thought long and hard about why she has perfectionist tendencies and has had many contemplative times during the last four and a half months. Here are some questions the author analyzed as she has worked through this time:

1.      What is perfect?

2.      Who defines it?

3.      Why is perfection the “goal”?

ACTION:  Are you a perfectionist? Do you have perfectionist tendencies? Are they affecting your life?

Resource

·        https://www.explorepsychology.com/perfectionism-definition-examples/

·        https://quotefancy.com/jon-acuff-quotes

·        Making Adjustments - Pt 2 | Joyce Meyer | Enjoying Everyday Life - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0YEq_4CKzk&t=1506s - 12:35 

·        Acuff, J. (2021).  Soundtracks: The Surprising Solution to Overthinking. Prince Frederick.  

·        https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/56765588-finish-give-yourself-the-gift-of-done

·        https://www.fullingmgmt.com/blog/soundtrack-symbols-make-your-soundtrack-stick

·        https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-check-the-story-youre-telling-yourself/id1138081298?i=1000602915356

·        https://andystanley.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Andy-Stanley-Leadership-Podcast-February-2023-Application-Guide.pdf

·        https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/atg-120-beyond-perfect-the-hidden-enemy-of-your-goals-part-1/id1547078080?i=1000608141418

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/atg-121-beyond-perfect-soundtracks-i-use-to-beat-perfectionism/id1547078080?i=1000609236308

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - May 9, 2023

 Choose your attitude every day until eventually it chooses you right back. - Jon Acuff

A soundtrack without action is just a fortune cookie. – John Acuff, Soundtracks

As a review from the last blog post, the author discussed the three questions one should ask when a potential negative soundtrack runs through the mind.

When these negative soundtracks emerge in our minds, the likelihood is stress or sleep deprivation. So, our first action should be to stop, breathe and walk away if possible. By changing surroundings, a fresh perspective allows for the creation of a new soundtrack.

Next, the reader needs to develop a new, positive, and encouraging soundtrack to replace the negative soundtrack. This new soundtrack will need to be repeated over and over again until it becomes as automatic as the negative soundtrack was.

Lastly, it is beneficial to attach a symbol to the new soundtrack according to Acuff. When those stressful times arise and one has to remember the positive soundtracks, the symbol will remind the reader to continually repeat the new soundtrack in one’s mind.

According to Acuff in the electronic version of Soundtracks: The Surprising Solution to Overthinking (4:36:35), the symbol should be:

1.      Simple

2.      Personal

3.      Visible

ACTION: What broken soundtracks do you need to retire and create new ones for? Create new soundtracks and select a symbol to help remember these new soundtracks.

Resource

·        https://quotefancy.com/jon-acuff-quotes

·        Acuff, J. (2021).  Soundtracks: The Surprising Solution to Overthinking. Prince Frederick. 

·        https://www.fullingmgmt.com/blog/soundtrack-symbols-make-your-soundtrack-stick

·        https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-check-the-story-youre-telling-yourself/id1138081298?i=1000602915356

·        https://andystanley.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Andy-Stanley-Leadership-Podcast-February-2023-Application-Guide.pdf

·        https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/atg-120-beyond-perfect-the-hidden-enemy-of-your-goals-part-1/id1547078080?i=1000608141418

·        https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/atg-121-beyond-perfect-soundtracks-i-use-to-beat-perfectionism/id1547078080?i=1000609236308

 

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - May 2, 2023

If you have a strong mind and plant in it a firm resolve, you can change your destiny. – Paramahansa Yogananda

The mind is everything.  What you think you become. - Buddha

Last week, the author talked about a crazy week she had and asked the reader how they would manage a situation they could not control.

In the author’s situation, the first couple of hours were difficult for her. She was upset and continually tried to call the electricity company to figure out when the power would be turned back on. Even with her persistence, nothing happened. The author tried to control the situation and could do nothing. Finally, she stopped, took a breath, and went for a drive.   

For a while, the author blamed herself for the electricity going out. That may sound crazy, but the author spiraled to crazy thoughts because she was tired, frustrated and trying to control. When those crazy thoughts were festering in her mind, the author remembered a quote in Jon Acuff’s book Soundtracks: The Surprising Solution to Overthinking.

One of the greatest mistakes you can make in life is assuming all your thoughts are true.

This was a great reminder of the author. At that moment, she remembered the three questions that Acuff discussed on Andy Stanley’s podcast to determine if the soundtrack in one’s mind was “broken.”  The questions listed below were discussed in the February 2023 podcast: 

A. Is it true? One of the greatest mistakes you make is assuming that all your thoughts are true.

B. Is it helpful? There are some things in life that are true but not helpful.

C. Is it kind? If you said it to a friend, would they still want to be your friend.

ACTION: Think back to the last time you were having a horrible, no-good day and think about the thoughts you thought about yourself. Were they uplifting or degrading? What did you do?

Resource

·        Acuff, J. (2021).  Soundtracks: The Surprising Solution to Overthinking. Prince Frederick. 

·        https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-check-the-story-youre-telling-yourself/id1138081298?i=1000602915356

·        https://andystanley.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Andy-Stanley-Leadership-Podcast-February-2023-Application-Guide.pdf

·        https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/atg-120-beyond-perfect-the-hidden-enemy-of-your-goals-part-1/id1547078080?i=1000608141418

·        https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/atg-121-beyond-perfect-soundtracks-i-use-to-beat-perfectionism/id1547078080?i=1000609236308

 

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - April 18, 2023

 Do not be concerned too much with what will happen. Everything which happens will be good and useful for you. – Epictetus

Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful. - Joshua J. Marine

Spring is in full bloom. Summer is just around the corner. As the author has stated, her life has been extremely busy with additional duties at work. When she took on these additional duties, it was uncertain when the end would come, and she did not realize the additional issues that would arise, and she would have to manage.

A month or so ago, the author was dealing with many issues. She was stressed and trying to control and accomplish everything in her life. The author was doing well with completion of tasks and on a Thursday night the author was talking to a friend and the tornado warnings went off. Calling the dog, the conversation with her friend ended in the closet and everything returned to “normal.”  Going to sleep, the author voiced a word of gratitude that she had not lost her electricity because did not have time for it. The next morning, the author awoke, completed her morning routine, and started working. Around 9:15am, the electricity went out on a beautiful sunny morning. The stress level for the author went sky high. She did not have time to have a disturbance. Doing everything she could with the electric company, she decided to go to a local coffee shop to work. For this particular day, her coworker was working and was able to cover some responsibilities. Frustration was high most of the day until someone asked her if she could do anything about the situation. Sitting in the coffee shop, she just laughed and shook her head. Shortly afterwards, she drove home, and the electricity came back on about 6pm.

What was the author to do? At first, she stressed and after about 6 hours she realized there was nothing she could do and changed her attitude.

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

 

ACTION: How would you have handled a situation like this? What thoughts would have gone through your mind?

Resource

·        https://wisdomquotes.com/hard-times-quotes/

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - April 11, 2023

 Small changes can make huge destination differences. – Sean Covey

Small changes can produce big results – but the areas of highest leverage are often the least obvious. — Peter Senge

Last week, the author gave steps for a first quarter goal review. Additionally, she challenged readers to think about small actions to implement to have a major impact at the end of 2023.

The author did not give any guidance, restrictions, or ideas on this. Hopefully, everyone thought of some ideas, but the author wanted to give a small action she has implemented that has already had an impact and the author foresees that she will have to continue to work on.

Some may know that the author can talk very softly and very fast. In a job interview a number of years ago, she was told to just slow down. Since January, the author has taken on more responsibilities at work and has had to interact with someone that has intimidated her for years. At first, the author was scared and talked fast. However, as the interactions with this individual have continued, the communication the author has with this person has improved. And the simple action that the author implemented was to slow down. For someone that is goal-driven and always trying to move to the next step and make progress, slowing down is not easy. The author has to continually check the speed of her dialogue to make sure she does not revert back to her old ways. In the long run, the author knows that this small change will have a major impact.  

ACTION:   Review the small changes you decided to implement in your life going forward in 2023.  Make any changes to help make 2023 the best year yet.

Resource

·        This One Word Will Keep You Focused - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-one-word-will-keep-you-focused/id274538089?i=1000607103119

·        Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week: Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - August 27th

·        Clear, J. (2018) Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results - Atomic Habits – An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones.  New York, NY: Penguin Random House.  

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - April 4, 2023

Spring cleaning is a chance to hit the reset on your life. – Unknown

Edit your life frequently and ruthlessly.  It’s your masterpiece after all. – Nathan W. Morris

The first quarter of 2023 is complete!  What a crazy couple of months.  As usual for the author, not what the author planned, but it has been busy and good.

It is that wonderful time to examine the first quarter of 2023 and analyze the progress the reader has accomplished on their goals.  Here are some actions to take to determine progress so far this year:

1.      Review goals to see accomplishments for the first quarter of 2023.   

2.      Are the currently established 2023 goals still the appropriate direction for the reader?  Life happens and goals may need to be modified/revised/deleted based on the circumstances.

3.      With what has happened so far this year, are there new goals that should be established for the year?  Nine months is a lot of time to accomplish a new goal.

A little progress each day adds up to big results. - Unknown

As the author thought about today’s blog, she thought back to one of her favorite blog posts, which was posted on August 27, 2019.  The author wrote about how small changes can have a major impact on our lives. 

For example, what would happen if a plane traveling from Los Angeles (LAX) to New York had a slight change in heading by just 3.5 degrees while sitting on the runway?  Instead of landing in New York, the plane would land in Washington, D.C.  The change in heading does not seem that big at LAX; however, that small change has a drastic impact when flying across the country (Clear, 17).

ACTION:  Complete a quarterly review of 2023 goals and determine progress.  Think of 3 small changes that will have major impacts on your life by the end of the year. 

Resource

·        This One Word Will Keep You Focused - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-one-word-will-keep-you-focused/id274538089?i=1000607103119

·        Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week: Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - August 27th

·        Clear, J. (2018) Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results - Atomic Habits – An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones.  New York, NY: Penguin Random House.