The most
important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said. - Peter F. Drucker
We have
two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. –
Epictetus
President Abraham Lincoln was an amazing communicator partly
due to his listening skills. He knew
that to be an effective leader he needed to listen carefully to what people
were saying because often times so much more can be learned from the nonverbal
cues an individual is portraying. Lincoln
also knew that sometimes people just wanted to be heard.
Dale Carnegie said, “If you want to be a good
conversationalist, be a good listener. To be interesting, be interested.” Carnegie knew that listening could alter
circumstances, help an individual gain knowledge and strengthen
relationships.
Here are listening skills that we can all incorporate into
both our personal and professional lives:
-Non-verbal
cues. Often times an individual’s
nonverbal cues such as their facial expressions or body posture can tell so
much more about a person’s views/opinions than what the person is actually
saying. Take time to view an individual’s
nonverbal cues to verify that the spoken message is the same as the unspoken
message.
To learn more about nonverbal cues, here is
an article from entrepreneur.com: http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/201202.
-Be
patient. Let the other person finish
their sentence. Do not interrupt or
finish the sentence of an individual you are talking to. Stay focused on the topic they are
discussing.
Recently, I noticed that I was finishing
people’s sentences or interrupting them without allowing them to finish their
thoughts. At dinner this past weekend, I
finished someone’s sentence and immediately apologized. It was inappropriate for me to finish the
sentence and I felt I was being insensitive, impatient and disrespectful. After I apologized, they continued telling me
about their recent trip and the fun they had on it.
-
Show
interest by asking questions. Often
times, we hear a speaker, but truly do not understand what they are
saying. By asking questions, we gain clarification
on statements they made and obtain additional knowledge to help us truly
understand what the speaker is trying to convey.
This week, I challenge you to take time to listen to the people
you are communicating with AND also ponder how listening can increase your
communication skills.
So when you are listening to somebody, completely,
attentively, then you are listening not only to the words, but also to the
feeling of what is being conveyed, to the whole of it, not part of it.
– Jiddu Krishnamurti
Additional
Resources on Listening:
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