Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - April 30th

I just spend my money on the essentials. Just basically food and shelter. - David Duchovny

Be ruthless! Say no to everything that is either not essential or doesn’t add something of value to your life. - Dee Waldeck

When you find out you can live without it, go along not thinking about it. – Baloo

What is really essential in life? 

Not knowing how long I would be out of my fire-damaged apartment and knowing that all of my clothes needed to be dry cleaned, I went through my closet and selected some basic clothing items.  The dry cleaners said they would do a rush job on a few clothing items, but it would still take about 5 days to get those items back.  Looking in my closet, I picked a few versatile items that I would be able to wear and had a few business attire items rushed through the dry cleaners.  My basic attire included 3 scarves, 2 pairs of jeans and 2 shirts and 2 tank tops.  Over the 33 days I was in the hotel, I purchased 2 shirts.

In many parts of my life, I love consistency and routine, but I like variety in my clothing.  However, I was very limited in my options during this time.  I learned to mix and match attire especially since I hung out with friends on most evenings.  Through this, I learned to life on the bare essentials of life.  This whole experience taught me to think about what truly is important in life.

CHALLENGE:  As we are in the middle of spring, it is a great time to declutter.

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - April 23rd

Without disruptions in life, where would we be? - Sarah Gadon

You embrace disruption. I think it's a good thing. - Denise Morrison

Disruption is, at its core, a really powerful idea. - Clayton M. Christensen

Since the fire marshals told me it was not safe to live in my apartment, my insurance company outsourced finding me a place to stay.  The company was very helpful by providing three or four different hotel options based on certain qualifications I asked for.  It was about 6:15pm on a Tuesday night when I first talked with them and by 9:30pm that night I had paid my deductible and knew where I would lay my head the next night. 

The following day (Wednesday) I checked into the hotel, very thankful for a clean place to sleep with no idea how long I would be living in a hotel room.  I was blessed with an amazing view of the Pentagon that I fell asleep to each night.  On Friday, I was dealing with various issues during the day, went grocery shopping and then returned to the hotel late in the afternoon.  After taking up one load of stuff to my room, I pushed the elevator pushbutton on the 16^th floor and waited.  When the elevator doors opened, I saw an older tall gentleman with brunette hair standing in the elevator with 6 bottles of wine in the bag he was holding.  Being friendly, I said, “Looks like you are going to have fun tonight!”  The gentleman laughed at my comment and we started talking.  By the time we reached the underground parking, I discovered he lived at the hotel and he had invited me to the table he hosted during the hotel happy hour Monday through Wednesday nights.  At first, I was not sure about going; however, I did my research online and discovered that my new “friend” was a former Army JAG attorney (Judge Advocate General) and I did not see any reason why I could not go downstairs for a little while.  That one decision made my stay at the hotel so much fun.

When I arrived downstairs on Monday, I reintroduced myself to the former JAG attorney and he introduced me to some of his friends that were at his table that night.  Throughout the evening, I met a number of military personnel that were TDY (temporary duty) at the Pentagon and discovered that this happened on a regular basis.  Throughout my stay, I met a number of other individuals at the table.  We had a wonderful time laughing, learning about each other and discussing politics.  The group was very diverse and we did not always agree, but this new group of friends I met at the hotel made my “life disruption” so much better. 

One night when I was talking with my sister, she told me that maybe this “life disruption” would turn out for my good and she was right.  Even now that I have returned to my apartment, I have gone back to visit the table at the hotel a couple times and plan on going back for other events.  I made some great friends during my 33-day hotel stay that will be there for me when I need them.  

CHALLENGE:   Embrace every disruption and enjoy it! 

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - April 16th

Turn your wounds into wisdom. ― Oprah Winfrey

Be thankful for everything that happens in your life; it’s all an experience. ― Roy T. Bennett

The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience. ― Eleanor Roosevelt

Part 2

As the fire marshals were getting ready to leave, the apartment complex manager told me that the rental apartment was available for me to use for the next two nights.  After a long and exhausting day, I gathered a few belongings as I tried to determine my next steps.  Leaving my apartment, I walked towards a building that a friend and his wife live in and where I thought the rental apartment was.  Soon I discovered that I had gone to the wrong building and one of the front office staff found me wandering in the parking garage and ended up driving me to the correct building.  Making my way to the apartment, I dropped my belongings at the door and collapsed on the bed.

After a sleepless night, I awoke to go to the gym and start working on organizing my life.  Since I had never dealt with anything like this, I was not sure what to do.  I contacted friends and family to obtain advice about how to deal with fire issues, but few had ever dealt with a fire and were not able to assist.  Calling the insurance company three times, I finally talked to my insurance adjustor for 45 minutes about what was included in my renter’s insurance policy.  Within a couple of hours of talking with my insurance adjustor, I was contacted by a company that assisted with finding a hotel for me to stay in since the fire marshals said I could not remain in my apartment.  Next, I was contacted by a company to help clean my furniture of soot and water damage.  Lastly, I was contacted by a company that would dry clean all of my clothes. According to the contractors, there was minimal smoke damage to my apartment; however, my clothes were engulfed with the smell of smoke.

Over the time I was out of my apartment, I called family and the insurance company for advice.  Sometimes they were able to provide guidance and sometimes they were not able to help. 

The first lesson I learned was that we can prepare the best we can and seek advice.  After that, it comes down to weighing the facts and then making the best decision possible. 

In the coming weeks, I will talk about other experiences and what I learned from them.

CHALLENGE:   Prepare the best you can and deal with the experiences as they come!

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - April 9th

It's better to die laughing than to live each moment in fear. ― Michael Crichton

I think the only way to get through this life is laughing hard and constantly, mostly at myself. ― Shannon Hale

Sitting on my couch doing work on February 25, 2019, I had absolutely no idea how my life was about to be disrupted forever!  As I was working, I smelled something strange.  At first, I did not think anything about it because I was cooking chicken in the crock pot with a new sauce.  However, I continued to smell the “strange” smell that was almost like smoke and decided I better check it out.  As I opened the door to walk outside onto my balcony, I saw smoke coming out of the strike plate (check diagram to understand terminology: https://i.pinimg.com/736x/f9/22/98/f92298b8dcada0f7534b28cb40244800.jpg) in the door and I also saw smoke coming out of a vent in the electrical closet that I do not have access to on my balcony. 

Immediately, I called my apartment complex office and they started looking into the issue.  When I saw the apartment complex manager and maintenance manager walking around outside my apartment, I walked onto my balcony and I talked with them for a few minutes.  Finally, they told me they could not determine where the smoke was coming from and they decided to pull the fire alarm for my apartment building and I was told to evacuate.  Listening to my mother, I grabbed my cell phone, computer, chargers and purse and left my apartment.  I went downstairs and sat in the apartment complex office and one of my friends came to hang out with me when he smelled something strange and heard the fire alarm.  At one point, we walked outside into the parking lot and saw a fireman hanging out of the window in my bedroom talking to a fireman hanging out of the window on the floor above me.  I knew then there was a MAJOR PROBLEM!

About 45 minutes later after walking back into the apartment complex office, the fire alarm stopped and I took the elevator to the fourth floor to return to my apartment.  As I walked down the hallway, the apartment complex manager walked out of my apartment and said, “It looks worse than it really is.”  Walking into my apartment, I discovered I had no electricity and at that moment no water.  Part of my bedroom wall had been torn down by the firefighter’s axes trying to get into the locked electrical closet.  Water had been sprayed throughout my bedroom and the furniture I had inherited when my grandparents passed away was covered in water. 

At that moment, I just stood in my apartment shaking my head wondering “WHY”?  I put my palm on my forehead and just looked around having no idea what my next steps were.  The fire marshals were very nice to me and at one point we were laughing at the sign that was on the mirror in my bedroom that said “I WANT CRAZY!”  They highly recommended I take it down!

Around 9:30pm that night (about 7 hours after I first smelled smoke), the fire marshals finally determined they knew the fire had started between the 4^th and 5^th floor where the electrical closets were, but could not determine how or why!

Next week, I will blog the second part of the story.  In coming weeks, I will write about the many lessons I have learned in the last month and a half. 

CHALLENGE:   LAUGH!

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - April 2nd

You defeat wrong thoughts with words, not with other thoughts. – Terri Savelle Foy

The words you speak become the house you live in. – Hafiz

Don't use your words to describe your situation, use your words to change your situation! – Joel Osteen

SHOULD…

According to dictionary.com, should means:

must; ought (used to indicate duty, propriety, or expediency.

This word needs to be removed from our thoughts and our language.  Erin Falconer discusses in her book “How to Get Sh*t Done” that we use the word “should” all day long in our inner dialogue. 

• I “should” go to the gym instead of watching television. 
• I “should” visit family more often.
• I “should” read 20 pages in the book.  

“Should” is an indicator that we either do not want to do what we are thinking/saying or we do not plan on doing what we are thinking/saying.  This inner divide in our minds of what is expected to be done and what we want to do creates feelings of guilt, shame and indecision.  Additionally, the word “should” indicates that what is being planned is only a possibility and not what will actually happen, which provides an excuse for why something may not happen. 

Instead, it is better to use the word “will” because it is a definite word. 

• I “will” go to the gym.
• I “will” visit my family this weekend. 
• I “will” read 20 pages in the book.

By changing the words we speak, we are setting ourselves up to accomplish our dreams and goals. 

CHALLENGE:  Count how many times in a day you say to yourself out loud or internally “I should”.  What do you plan to do to change from “should” to “will” to help you accomplish your dreams and goals? 

Resources

Falconer, E. (2018). How to Get Sh*t Done. New York, NY: North Star Way.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/lifestyle-buzz/the-psychology-behind-why-were-so-bad-at-keeping-new-years-resolutions/ar-BBRDsfN?ocid=spartanntp

http://jnsci.org/files/html/2017/e384.htm

https://www.terri.com/downloads/2017_routine_spring.pdf

Positive Affirmations to Change Your Attitude - https://www.terri.com/positive-affirmations-to-change-your-attitude/

https://metro.co.uk/2017/12/31/serious-keeping-new-year-resolutions-ban-word-7193093/

https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=17792517

Miracles In Your Mouth - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RR57tZSNwgo