Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - April 20th

 

After people become convinced they have what it takes to succeed, they persevere in the face of adversity and quickly rebound from setbacks. By sticking it out through tough times, they emerge stronger from adversity. - Albert Bandura

 

If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning. ― Mahatma Gandhi

 

Confidence is a personality characteristic that is developed by walking through various trials and tribulations in life as the author discussed last week.  Another trait of mental toughness to develop is self-efficacy.  In the audio book SEAL Team Six, Wasdin (2011, 2:12:30) states:

 

It no longer mattered what we did next. I didn't care. This has got to end sometime. Deprived of support in our environment and support of our own bodies, the only thing propping us up was the belief in accomplishing the mission. Complete hell week. In psychology, this belief is called self-efficacy. Even when the mission seems impossible, it is the belief that makes success possible. The absence of this belief guarantees failure. Strong belief in the mission fuels our ability to focus, to put forth effort and persist.  Believe allows us to see the goal.

 

The same is true of each of us.  We have to believe we can accomplish our dreams and also have the passion and drive to do it.  As the author was researching self-efficacy, she learned this is a belief in our own ability to accomplishing a task.    

 

How do we build self-efficacy?  The author suggests two actions:

 

1.       Reflect on past accomplishments/goals that the reader achieved when he/she did not think it was possible based on current ability.  Reminiscing will build self-efficacy and help the reader see how it seemed impossible at one time and how he/she overcame disbelief to complete.    

2.       Continue accomplishing goals even if they are small.  Each time a goal is accomplished, the reader is developing the belief that the capabilities are inside them to achieve the task. 

 

Self-efficacy is the belief in one's capabilities to organize and execute the sources of action required to manage prospective situations. -Albert Bandura

 

ACTION: Think back to a time when you did not think you had the skills to accomplish something.  How did you end accomplishing the task?  During this situation, you developed self-efficacy by believing in yourself and that belief will continue to compound to help you accomplish your dreams.    

 

Resources

·       Wasdin, Howard E. (2011).  SEAL Team Six: Memoirs of an Elite Navy SEAL Sniper. [Audiobook] Blackstone Publishing.

·       https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-self-efficacy-2795954#:~:text=Self-efficacy%20can%20play%20a%20role%20in%20not%20only,experience%2C%20and%20reciprocal%20determinism%20in%20developing%20a%20personality

·       https://www.mensjournal.com/features/what-you-can-learn-from-navy-seals-about-grit-and-mental-toughness/

·       https://sofrep.com/news/stoicism-how-to-survive-like-a-special-operator/

·       https://www.mensjournal.com/health-fitness/mental-toughness-training/

·       https://www.ukessays.com/essays/psychology/difference-between-self-confidence-and-self-efficacy-psychology-essay.php

·       https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/flourish/201002/if-you-think-you-can-t-think-again-the-sway-self-efficacy

·       https://www.azquotes.com/quotes/topics/self-efficacy.html

·       https://www.apa.org/pi/aids/resources/education/self-efficacy

·       https://www.lifehack.org/533064/you-can-you-think-you-can-4-ways-build-self-efficacy

·       https://rickconlow.com/15-goal-achieving-quotes/#:~:text=15%20Powerful%20Goal%20Achieving%20Quotes%201%20%E2%80%9CBegin%20with,into%20the%20visible.%E2%80%9D%20Anthony%20Robbins%20More%20items...

·       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyJ_hhninDw

·       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCMah0wIXPc

·       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QKUEDBIG6w

·       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vakhYXgtRZ8&t=13s

·       https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/think-act-be/201802/what-makes-us-think-such-negative-things-about-ourselves

·       https://thoughtcatalog.com/marisa-donnelly/2018/01/15-quotes-to-help-you-develop-mental-toughness/

·       https://www.inc.com/amy-morin/18-things-mentally-strong-people-do.html#:~:text=1%20They%20practice%20gratitude.%20Counting%20their%20blessings,%20rather,They%20set%20healthy%20boundaries.%20...%20More%20items

·       https://graphicspedia.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/18-Principles-Followed-By-People-Who-Are-Mentally-Strong-Infographic.jpg

·       https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201606/18-things-mentally-strong-people-do

·       https://sofrep.com/news/stoicism-how-to-survive-like-a-special-operator/

·       https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/3-secrets-of-superachievers.html

·       https://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/7-tips-from-super-achievers-for-insane-productivity/

·       https://www.military.com/special-operations/top-5-qualities-of-special-operations-troops.html

·       https://www.mensjournal.com/features/what-you-can-learn-from-navy-seals-about-grit-and-mental-toughness/

·       https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/mental-toughness-quotes

·       https://www.mentaltoughness.partners/the-origins-of-mental-toughness/#:~:text=In%20his%20book%20The%20New%20Toughness%20Training%20for,your%20talent%20and%20skill%20regardless%20of%20competitive%20circumstances.%E2%80%9D

·       https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-tell-the-us-militarys-most-elite-special-operators#6-delta-force-11

·       https://www.quotesclub.net/navy-seal-quotes/

·       https://www.military.com/special-operations/top-5-qualities-of-special-operations-troops.html

·       https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-future-brain/201811/top-5-tips-navy-seals-exceptional-leadership

·       https://www.mentaltoughness.partners/measure-mental-toughness/

·       https://www.success.com/7-mental-hacks-to-be-more-confident-in-yourself/?fbclid=IwAR0QelMrbPcIYNahBCRoD3mYBpSVwgk-4WSlobFvTkxKPfky8ig9MDAijqs

·       https://www.success.com/5-ways-successful-people-take-control-of-life/?fbclid=IwAR0mOLl0eLCZIw8TdYrWl1e6yeWz5oCmQGBFxiifIAk9y0_o-ROLBzrxEeA

·       https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/mental-toughness-exercises/

 

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - April 13th

As you move outside of your comfort zone, what was once the unknown and frightening becomes your new normal. – Robin S. Sharma

 

Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong. – Peter T. McIntyre

 

As the reader continues on their journey to mental toughness, pain from the past has started to be removed and thoughts are being reframed.  Next thing to do is start building confidence.  First idea to build confidence is step outside the reader’s comfort zone.  By trying new things, the reader will learn, encounter new experiences and accomplish new tasks/activities.    

 

Confidence is earned.  Developed.  Grown.  The most important thing to understand about confidence is it is a result.  Not an outcome.  Not a cause.  You don't start with confidence.  You end up with it.  You are not born with confidence.  We are all born naked, scared and ignorant.  Only after the treacherous beginning will one grow into confidence.  – Darren Hardy

 

Second, we have to embrace the trials and tribulations that come in life.  The author has learned that these difficult events are actually building her confidence.  In the last couple of years, she has encountered many different situations that have been difficult causing stress and loss of sleep worrying about matters.  During these times of stress and nervousness, the author has been known to talk extremely fast when interacting with people.  As she has continued to encounter new trials and tribulations, she has grown and continued to learn how to handle the stressful times.  Recently, she had a difficult situation and was extremely tired on this particular day.  However, she remained calm and talked slowly to be able to explain the situation to the person she needed to make aware of it and asked questions of him.  Shortly after the conversation, she called Mama Flow and told her that she had grown and explained what she had accomplished.  Now, the author has more confidence to deal with difficult situations. 

 

The Navy SEALs do the same thing.  In BUD/S training, the 3^rd week of the first phase they go through “Hell Week”.  For 5 ½ days, they conduct operational training in cold, wet and ferocious circumstances with often less than 4 hours of sleep.  Why do they do this?  Because they are training in the worst circumstance so they are prepared for whatever operation they are asked to complete.  When they encounter difficult situations on an operational mission, they have built their confidence by completing Hell Week, where they learned valuable lessons that well help them on their mission.    

 

ACTION: How are you going to step outside your comfort zone this week to build your confidence like the Navy SEALs do?

 

 

Resources

·       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyJ_hhninDw

·       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCMah0wIXPc

·       https://navyseals.com/nsw/hell-week-0/#:~:text=Hell%20Week%20is%20the%20defining%20event%20of%20BUD%2FS,training%20on%20fewer%20than%20four%20hours%20of%20sleep

·       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QKUEDBIG6w

·       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vakhYXgtRZ8&t=13s

·       https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/think-act-be/201802/what-makes-us-think-such-negative-things-about-ourselves

·       https://thoughtcatalog.com/marisa-donnelly/2018/01/15-quotes-to-help-you-develop-mental-toughness/

·       https://www.inc.com/amy-morin/18-things-mentally-strong-people-do.html#:~:text=1%20They%20practice%20gratitude.%20Counting%20their%20blessings,%20rather,They%20set%20healthy%20boundaries.%20...%20More%20items

·       https://graphicspedia.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/18-Principles-Followed-By-People-Who-Are-Mentally-Strong-Infographic.jpg

·       https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201606/18-things-mentally-strong-people-do

·       https://sofrep.com/news/stoicism-how-to-survive-like-a-special-operator/

·       https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/3-secrets-of-superachievers.html

·       https://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/7-tips-from-super-achievers-for-insane-productivity/

·       https://www.military.com/special-operations/top-5-qualities-of-special-operations-troops.html

·       https://www.mensjournal.com/features/what-you-can-learn-from-navy-seals-about-grit-and-mental-toughness/

·       https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/mental-toughness-quotes

·       https://www.mentaltoughness.partners/the-origins-of-mental-toughness/#:~:text=In%20his%20book%20The%20New%20Toughness%20Training%20for,your%20talent%20and%20skill%20regardless%20of%20competitive%20circumstances.%E2%80%9D

·       https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-tell-the-us-militarys-most-elite-special-operators#6-delta-force-11

·       https://www.quotesclub.net/navy-seal-quotes/

·       https://www.military.com/special-operations/top-5-qualities-of-special-operations-troops.html

·       https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-future-brain/201811/top-5-tips-navy-seals-exceptional-leadership

·       https://www.mentaltoughness.partners/measure-mental-toughness/

·       https://www.success.com/7-mental-hacks-to-be-more-confident-in-yourself/?fbclid=IwAR0QelMrbPcIYNahBCRoD3mYBpSVwgk-4WSlobFvTkxKPfky8ig9MDAijqs

·       https://www.success.com/5-ways-successful-people-take-control-of-life/?fbclid=IwAR0mOLl0eLCZIw8TdYrWl1e6yeWz5oCmQGBFxiifIAk9y0_o-ROLBzrxEeA

·       https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/mental-toughness-exercises/

·       https://www.forbes.com/sites/francesbridges/2017/07/21/10-ways-to-build-confidence/?sh=1ab30b683c59

·       https://medium.com/@bharatbash123/how-to-develop-a-military-mindset-and-get-closer-to-your-goals-597fea5b18b3

·       https://www.mensjournal.com/health-fitness/mental-toughness-training/

·       https://www.mensjournal.com/features/what-you-can-learn-from-navy-seals-about-grit-and-mental-toughness/

·       https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-future-brain/201811/top-5-tips-navy-seals-exceptional-leadership

·       https://tomaslau.com/quotes/mental-toughness

·       https://rickconlow.com/15-goal-achieving-quotes/#:~:text=15%20Powerful%20Goal%20Achieving%20Quotes%201%20%E2%80%9CBegin%20with,into%20the%20visible.%E2%80%9D%20Anthony%20Robbins%20More%20items

  

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - April 6th

 Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind. -

Rudyard Kipling

 

You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength. - Marcus Aurelius, ThoughtJoy

 

Now that the removal of past hurts and pain has started, a major step has been made in becoming mentally strong.  The next step is to reframe the reader’s mindset. 

 

According to Psychology Today, cognitive behavioral therapy states that the thoughts an individual has are consistent based on a pattern.  These thoughts are called core believes.  Believes create and maintain what the person thinks of the world, other individuals and even themselves.  Studies show that when we have negative core believes, we interpret negative outcomes based on our flaws.  Cognitive behavioral therapy works to substitute the thoughts into thinking the individual desires. 

 

The first step anyone with negative thoughts needs to do is analyze the thought and discover the origin of the thought.  At that point, it is time to write down the pain and burn it.  Next, replace the thought.  How?  Daily take time to verbally declare positive statements to replace the negative thoughts.  According to Dr. Caroline Leaf, each time the reader declares the new positive statements they are creating new neural pathways and the continual repetition of their positive declarations will establish a new mindset.  The change in mindset will take time.  Additionally, there will be times when the past negative thoughts return.  Keep pressing on and take any negative thoughts captive and replace them with the positive thoughts the reader has been declaring over themselves.  

The reader may be wondering how this relates to being as mentally strong as someone in the Special Forces.  Just like the Special Forces train physically, they also train mentally.  Treat the brain like a muscle and strengthen it to become mentally strong. 

 

ACTION: Take time this week to write a list of positive declarations to declare over yourself.  Include all areas where goals were created including faith, family, finances, fitness and future. 

 

Resources

·       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyJ_hhninDw

·       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCMah0wIXPc

·       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QKUEDBIG6w

·       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vakhYXgtRZ8&t=13s

·       https://brainwarriorswaypodcast.com/what-happens-when-you-rewire-your-brain-and-thinking-with-dr-caroline-leaf/

·       https://drleaf.com/blogs/news/the-addictive-personality-myth-how-to-correctly-deal-with-addiction

·       https://drleaf.com/blogs/news/4-steps-to-reconceptualize-a-toxic-thinking-habit-into-a-healthy-new-neural-network

·       https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/think-act-be/201802/what-makes-us-think-such-negative-things-about-ourselves

·       https://thoughtcatalog.com/marisa-donnelly/2018/01/15-quotes-to-help-you-develop-mental-toughness/

·       https://medium.com/@bharatbash123/how-to-develop-a-military-mindset-and-get-closer-to-your-goals-597fea5b18b3

·       https://www.inc.com/amy-morin/18-things-mentally-strong-people-do.html#:~:text=1%20They%20practice%20gratitude.%20Counting%20their%20blessings,%20rather,They%20set%20healthy%20boundaries.%20...%20More%20items

·       https://graphicspedia.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/18-Principles-Followed-By-People-Who-Are-Mentally-Strong-Infographic.jpg

·       https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201606/18-things-mentally-strong-people-do

·       https://sofrep.com/news/stoicism-how-to-survive-like-a-special-operator/

·       https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/3-secrets-of-superachievers.html

·       https://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/7-tips-from-super-achievers-for-insane-productivity/

·       https://www.military.com/special-operations/top-5-qualities-of-special-operations-troops.html

·       https://www.mensjournal.com/features/what-you-can-learn-from-navy-seals-about-grit-and-mental-toughness/

·       https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/mental-toughness-quotes

·       https://www.mentaltoughness.partners/the-origins-of-mental-toughness/#:~:text=In%20his%20book%20The%20New%20Toughness%20Training%20for,your%20talent%20and%20skill%20regardless%20of%20competitive%20circumstances.%E2%80%9D

·       https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-tell-the-us-militarys-most-elite-special-operators#6-delta-force-11

 

 

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - March 30th

 Time doesn’t heal emotional pain, you need to learn how to let go. - Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

 

One of the first things that an individual needs to do to become mentally strong is to let go of the past.  Hurts and pains are different for each individual and if those painful memories are not dealt with, they will prevent the reader from moving forward. 

 

As the author mentioned in early 2021, she had a coach at work that had a major impact on her life.  Over the months the author was talking with her coach, a couple times the coach told the author she needed to take time to write letters to different people that hurt her.  By physical writing the letters, the hurtful words and memories would be released allowing the author to move on.  After the letters were written, she needed to burn them as a symbol the past was being burned and opening the door to move forward on her journey.  It took the author a couple weeks, but she finally spent an hour on a Sunday afternoon writing letters to a few people she was hurt by and then burned them.  Once she did, she felt a release and a weight lifted off of her. 

 

We don't realize how excess stuff draws on our energy until it's removed. - Mary Vraa, PopUpPurge(TM) Release Midlife Clutter & Reclaim Inner Clarity

 

A couple days after this, the author was called by someone and one of the first statements that caller said was, “I have something to tell you that is going to make you mad”.  When the caller finally got to what was going to make the author mad, she heard what the situation was and then remained quiet for a moment.  Then the author said, “No, I am not going to let that bother me.  I forgave him and burned the past on Sunday.  I am moving on.”  This was a major step for the author and an important one.  If we allow the past to continually bring us down, we will never accomplish our dreams.   

 

This is not something that we only do for pain and hurt from 10, 15 or 20 years ago.  Release of any hurtful words or memories can be done daily to help the reader move on with their life.  Write down the situation and release the matter as the paper burns. 

 

ACTION: Think about the people that have said hurtful things that you have held on to for a long time.  Take time to write letters this week and get all of the hurt and pain on paper and then BURN IT.  The past is gone and it is time to move forward to move closer to your dreams. 

 

Resources

 

·       https://www.inc.com/amy-morin/18-things-mentally-strong-people-do.html#:~:text=1%20They%20practice%20gratitude.%20Counting%20their%20blessings,%20rather,They%20set%20healthy%20boundaries.%20...%20More%20items...

·       https://graphicspedia.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/18-Principles-Followed-By-People-Who-Are-Mentally-Strong-Infographic.jpg

·       https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201606/18-things-mentally-strong-people-do

·       https://sofrep.com/news/stoicism-how-to-survive-like-a-special-operator/