Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - October 29th

When you set your mind to achieve something, you must allow yourself the opportunity to get it done. ― Tasha Hoggatt

You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice. - Bob Marley

When everything feels like an uphill battle, just think of the view from the top. – patmoorefoundation.com

Even when a breakthrough happens in our dreams, we will many times begin facing new challenges and new hills to climb almost immediately.  

When the author finally was offered a job, she thought it would be an easy process and start working quickly.  However, it took 87 days from when she was offered the job to actually start working.  During that time, the author had to remain patient and again had the opportunity to work on developing her character.  Through those trying days, she remained resilient and volunteered at the local USO. 

On September 3^rd, the author started her new job in the federal government not knowing exactly what she would be doing.  Through the first 2 months on the job, she has never done the same thing two days in a row.  Change has occurred regularly and she has had to be flexible and willing to change when needed.  Through the two months, she has been tested many times.  Each uphill battle has provided the author the opportunity to use resilience and the character she developed to remain calm and face each challenge as it arose.  

The battle of life is, in most cases, fought uphill; and to win it without a struggle were perhaps to win it without honor. If there were no difficulties there would be no success; if there were nothing to struggle for, there would be nothing to be achieved. -  Samuel Smiles. Author Profession: Author. Nationality: Scottish.

Through the many experiences the author has encountered in 2019, she is learning to develop a mindset to overcome every battle that arises in a calm and peaceful way.

CHALLENGE:  Even when a breakthrough happens and more challenges arise, stay calm and keep fighting to accomplish your dreams. 

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - October 22nd

Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish. - John Quincy Adams

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Arnold H. Glasow

Hope: Belief in a bright future. ― Lailah Gifty Akita

We are like trees; we must create new leaves, new directions in order to grow. – Anonymous

Over the last few weeks, Terri’s Tuesday Tip of the Week has covered resilience, patience and character development.  All of these traits are important as we strive toward our goals and dreams.  They are also important when we face trails and setbacks in life, like the author did.

When the author moved to Virginia, she continued working for the same company she was working for in Texas.  On July 31, 2017, she was laid off.  When she moved to Virginia, the author started getting involved in a church, volunteering and attending various other networking opportunities.  As any person looking for a job, the author started contacting her network and applying for jobs online.  To the author, she did not think it would be that difficult to find a job.  With a strong background in financial services, she thought it would be natural to be employed by a member of Congress she had worked with or on one of the Congressional committees that she had met with in her previous job.  However, every door she knocked on closed.  The author was confused.  Every other time she had searched for a job, it happened almost immediately.  However, that was not the case this time.  Over 550 resumes were sent out, seven phone interviews and four in-person interviews came of all those resumes.  Through all of this, the author had to hold on to her faith and questioned many times if she made the right decision to move to Virginia.  She thought about returning to Texas, but every time she prayed she had peace about staying.  After 25 months, the author finally found a job. 

Through this whole experience, the author regularly had to have resilience to keep applying for jobs, patience during the employment search and her character was developed as she had to remain calm and release control as she could only do so much.  Mama Flow (aka the author’s mother) was the person that the author talked to regularly.  She encouraged the author and when the author became frustrated or was ready to give up she would calm the author down.  Mama Flow challenged the author to step out of her box and try new things. 

It was a long 25 months being unemployed, but the author grew through the experience and developed resilience, patience and character. 

CHALLENGE:  Reflect on difficult times in your life when you have been resilient, patient and developed character through an experience.  Remember the difficult times that you overcame and be encouraged.

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - October 15th

Potential is not an endpoint but a capacity to grow and learn. -Eileen Kennedy-Moore

Patience is not just about waiting for something… it’s about how you wait, or your attitude while waiting. - Joyce Meyer

Hardships occur to build a person’s character. - Sahara Sanders, Gods’ Food

Last week, the author wrote about patience and what it is like when a seed is planted.  The seed does not sprout overnight and a new tree appear the next day.  It takes patience and time for the new plant to grow.  During this time, the farmer continues to water and fertilize the plant.

Just as a farmer develops a plant during the waiting season, the reader also can develop during the waiting season.  Based on the dream, the waiting season can be used for professional or personal development.  Also, it is a great time to clean out spaces to be prepared for the future.  Lastly, this time can be used for developing relationships. 

This time of patience also provides the opportunity for character development.  The reader can do everything they possible can and still not accomplish the dream they desire.  During the waiting season, the reader has to be resilient, have gratitude and be patient.  A decision has to be made during this time of character development.  Will they keep pushing toward their dream praying for a breakthrough or will they quit?  Trying times develop the reader’s character and just like a tree the reader develops great strength and roots during the growing season.  Character development will be beneficial when the dream comes to fruition. 

A tree that grows too quickly without developing deep roots falls over in the slightest wind.  Develop depth not shallowness of character. -  David Cuschieri

Where victims see adversity, extreme achievers see opportunity. — Robin Sharma

CHALLENGE:  What areas of character development are you working on during this season of life?

Resources

·       https://www.proctorgallagherinstitute.com/27101/the-role-of-patience-in-goal-achievement

·       http://personalgrowthmap.com/blog/2009/01/05/what-is-character-development-anyway/

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - October 8th

Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Genius is nothing but a great aptitude for patience. - George-Louis de Buffon

                              

Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Patience…very few people enjoy waiting on something they want and often times people do not have the characteristic of patience.  However, it is an important part of life.  Recently, a gentleman in the author’s apartment complex has started telling her every time he sees her that she is being impatient “yet again”.  No, the author does not like to wait for slow elevators and often gets frustrated when she continually hits the close door button and the elevator doors do not close.  Most likely, the elevators are programmed to be slow for the safety of the residents, but for a task-oriented individual wasting time is not something the author enjoys. 

However, as the author was reading recently, a new perspective on patience came into her thinking.   

Think about a farmer.  He/she plants a seed and then waters it.  If he/she walks outside the next day, will a new plant have grown overnight?  No, it takes time and patience for the plant to take root and grow. 

Like a seed a farmer plants, we all have dreams that we want to see sprout and grow overnight.  However, most dreams often take longer than we would like and we often have to work harder than we expected to accomplish them.  With patience and hard work, the outcome is usually amazing!

While waiting, here is a great piece of advice from a Chinese Proverb:

One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.

As the reader is learning to be patient, apply this important characteristic to other areas of life.  Learning patience may help stop the reader from doing something that could ruin their life.  

Learn the art of patience. Apply discipline to your thoughts when they become anxious over the outcome of a goal. Impatience breeds anxiety, fear, discouragement and failure. Patience creates confidence, decisiveness, and a rational outlook, which eventually leads to success. – Brian Adams

Learning patience now will help the reader in the future when the dream comes to fruition!

CHALLENGE:  How can you apply the art of patience in working towards your goals and dreams this week?

Resources

·       https://www.proctorgallagherinstitute.com/27101/the-role-of-patience-in-goal-achievement

·       https://www.purposefairy.com/75545/50-inspiring-quotes-on-patience-find-peace-of-mind/

Terri's Tuesday Tip of the Week - October 1st

Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient. - Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it's less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you've lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that's good. -  Elizabeth Edwards

When encountering a difficult situation, how do you react?  Are you strong, determined and push forward?  Or do you get frustrated, sit back and let life happen? 

Developmental psychologist Emmy Werner published “Risk, resilience, and recovery: Perspectives from the Kauai Longitudinal Study”, which study six hundred and ninety-eight (698) children in Hawaii from birth through their 30s.  Werner studied various aspects of the children’s lives including how they responded to stress.  Two-thirds of the children came from stable homes and one-third came from “at risk” homes.  For the “at-risk” children, two-thirds had behavior and learning issues.  The other one-third of the children were strong, competent, self-assured and positive.  The “at risk” one-third group attained academic success and were always prepared to seize new opportunities.  According to the study, these children were not uncommonly intelligent, but used the skills they had to their full potential.  What set these children apart was what psychologists called an “internal locus of control”.  These children believed they affected their outcomes and did not let circumstances define them.  The one-third of the “at-risk” children believed they were the creators of their own fates. 

George Bonanno, a clinical psychologist at Columbia University’s Teachers College, studied resilience for twenty-five (25) years in adults.  In his research, he discovered that how an individual perceived a stressful situation is key to resilience.  Bonanno questioned how people handle stress…did the individual see a stressful situation as traumatic or as an opportunity to develop?  Any event can be traumatic or not traumatic to the individual facing it.  It all depended on how the individual decided to perceive it. 

Now the reader might be concerned if they are not currently a resilient individual.  What can they do?  Kevin Ochsner at Columbia discovered that resilience can be taught.  He believed that an individual can learn to find something good out of a negative situation or be less emotional when a response is emotionally charging. 

As the author was writing this blog post, she thought back to her senior year of high school.  The senior sponsor gave her the Timex award…” Takes a licking and keeps on ticking”.  The author has had very trying times throughout her life and has often been resilient.  After the last couple of years, she agrees with Bonanno that it is all about how we perceive the stresses of life. 

CHALLENGE:  Work on reframing your mindset when negative circumstances occur to help improve resilience. 

Resources

·       https://www.newyorker.com/science/maria-konnikova/the-secret-formula-for-resilience

·       https://www.nytimes.com/2015/12/06/magazine/the-profound-emptiness-of-resilience.html

·       https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/development-and-psychopathology/article/risk-resilience-and-recovery-perspectives-from-the-kauai-longitudinal-study/DC3C3F10587A1A7D04C0310270717B3E

·       http://evidencebasedliving.human.cornell.edu/2010/03/28/rethinking-trauma-george-bonanno-on-resilience/

·       http://www.public.asu.edu/~iacmao/PGS191/Resilience%20Reading%20%231A.pdf